Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize