is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
