can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Who died my cat blue again?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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