Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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