i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
