Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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