It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
