you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
