That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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