She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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