I bet he comes in French.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
