I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the day after is always just damage control
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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