Non-Jews are for practice
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
