Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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