Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
