meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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