I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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