I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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