i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The dick lei will go down in squad history
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize