He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
