it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
