is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Soap is not a condiment
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
