I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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