dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
