K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
