Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
A+ Viking dick
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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