recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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