dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
