I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
