we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
