Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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