Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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