so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
