This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
