I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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