Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.

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(602): View more from Arizona

So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?

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(315): View more from New York

There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy

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(519): View more from Ontario

you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass

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(914): View more from New York

If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.

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