Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
