just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
