She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
When are your genitals available?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
