I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
