I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
