Hippo gnu deer
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
