No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
