You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
