You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
