Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
it's like iHOP with fire
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
