So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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