The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
