New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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