If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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