Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize