last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
