Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
