Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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