Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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