wakey wakey hands off snakey
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
