Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
