My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
