So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize