drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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