I'm gonna have a badass scar
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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