U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize