Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
