My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
