I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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