oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
