i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize