Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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