It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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