There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
