u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you traded sex for a burrito?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
